Time for some -isms

PORTERISMS

Porter: What's that?
Me: That's a runway, it's where the planes take off and land.
Porter: No, it's called a flyway.

Porter: Mom!  Gabe's not sharing!
Me: What's he not sharing?
Porter: He's not sharing Quentin!

Porter and Quentin both crying . . . 
Porter: Quentin stop it!  I'm crying!

Porter:  Mommy, come see!  I just put the fire out with my hose!
(He's a boy . . . so just use your imagination . . . )

I have to tell a little story here, because I have boys and well when they stand to pee depending on how big of a hurry they are in it can get kind of messy.  I'm getting really tired of cleaning up or sitting in pee.  So, you can imagine my joy the other day when I walked past the bathroom and saw Porter standing in front of the toilet peeing on THE WALL next to it.  We now have a new rule at our house.  No peeing with your eyes covered . . . that's right he had the hood of his sweatshirt completely covering his face so he couldn't see anything.  Nice.  

GABEISMS

Quentin is crying . . . so Gabe goes to offer him some comfort.
Gabe: You're okay Quentin, you're okay.  I can see you and you're not dead, you're okay.  
(We all use this phrase to soothe Quentin now.)  

Gabe keeps telling me that at school he eats lunch in the dining room.  I try to correct him and tell him it's called a cafeteria, but he keeps calling it the dining room.  Pretty sure he's going to get beat up someday for this. . . 

Gabe: Can I please have some blueberries with my yogurt?
Me: Sure. ( I go and get the blueberries.)
Gabe: Thanks!  This is just like having a servant!

While wrestling with daddy . . . 
Gabe:  Ow, ow, ow, you're hurting me!
John: What hurts?
Gabe: My hand ankle.
John: You mean your wrist?
Gabe: Yes!

Gabe: Can I play Disney on the computer?
Me: No, you can play PBS kids.
Gabe: But, I want to play Pirates of the Caribbean on Disney.  It's so cool there's this guy and blah, blah, blah, and when you kill him guts spray all over his boots.
Me: No, that's exactly the reason I don't want you playing on Disney!
Gabe: Okay, okay, can I play Phineas and Ferb on Disney?   There's NO BOOTS on that one.  

JOHN&RACHISMS

Remember a while back my post about idiot warnings . . . well, I have another idiot warning for you . . . and I won't tell you how I know this, I just know.  
Somewhere on your GPS they should really mention that if you stick the GPS to the drivers window the driver should remove the GPS prior to rolling down the window, because like the window, the GPS too will come down.  They could even include illustrations that show the driver trying to catch the falling GPS while juggling loose change, and a toll ticket, all while operating a moving vehicle and perhaps smacking their face into the sun visor that is also covering the window.  Of course, all this is completely theoretical. . . 

Me: Hun, look at the cute covers I made for our throw pillows today.

John: Yep.

Me: You don't like them?

John: Eh.

Me: Because they don't match or you just don't like the fabric I chose?  

John: None of them match.

Me: I think they call it al dente.  No, that's pasta.  It's called eclectic.

John: No, they call it insane.

My pillows with their cute new covers!

Did I ever tell you what happened to my throw pillows?  The kids were finger painting one day...you know outside so the paint wouldn't get on anything...well, the wind was blowing their papers around, so they came in the house and got my throw pillows to hold the paper down.  

Speaking of insane, Lola is insane. (Lola is our GPS.)  We have a love/hate relationship with her.  She really is crazy and will take us on the most indirect backwood roads she can find, but I think we'd really miss her if we ever replaced her with a GPS that actually worked.  I think our trip to Massachusetts may have been too much for her because at one point John turned to me and said, "Did she just stutter?"  It was hilarious . . . but, maybe you had to be there.

Finally to end this randomness, let's play a guessing game. It's called Who's Hairy Back is This? 

Answer: It's Porter!  The kid's a beast.  I was rinsing him off after his bath the other night and the shower head made this cool pattern in all his back hair.