You know you live in the city when your child asks a question like this:
Gabe : Mommy, why is there hay on that golf course?
Me: Because that is a hay field, not a golf course.
Gabe: On Mickey Mouse Clubhouse there are two mice, two ducks, a dog and a moose.
Me: A moose?
Gabe: Yeah, Goofy is a moose without antlers.
Me: I always thought he was a dog.
Gabe: No mom, I'm telling you, he's a moose without antlers. I think I know what a moose without antlers looks like!
Me: Yuck, who farted?
Gabe: I've never farted and that's a true story.
Me: Where would you like to serve a mission?
Gabe: At the docks.
Examples of Porter's favorite expression right now:
Me: Porter, eat your dinner.
Porter: No way!
Me: Porter, do you want to go outside and play?
Porter: Yes way!
Me: Porter, do you want a bath?
Porter: Yes way!
Me: Porter, it's time to get out of the bath.
Porter: No way!
Do you ever try to get your kids to eat dinner by telling them that their food is something else? For example:
Me: Gabe, did you know green beans will give you super powers?
Me: Gabe, asparagus is Spider Man's favorite food, you should try it!
Tonight it went down like this:
Me: Porter, this is monkey food. Don't you want monkey powers?
Porter: No, it's soup.
Me: Dang, he's smart. Now how am I supposed to get him to eat?
And finally, my favorite:
Gabe: Mommy, why can only black people cross the street here?